Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I had them in stitches.

I firmly believe that every experience can be a learning experience.  Just today I had a minor surgery that required anesthesia.  Don’t ask me what I had done please, just know it wasn’t cosmetic and was medically vital. J  Anesthesiologist and the narcotic concoctions they mix up can be a lot of fun.  So here are today’s lessons, that I will share with you free of charge.

1.      Do not insist that the book is called Water for Elements.  When under drugs assume the other person is correct.
2.      Do not attempt to blog.  I repeat, do not attempt to blog.
3.      When texting friends realize and appreciate that you will gush of how much you love them.  Accept it.
4.      Forgive yourself for telling the nurse and the other nurses how pretty her eyes are, especially when “She” is a large man in his fifties.  This coincides with #3.
5.      Have someone there to help you sort out your medicine once you get home.  You CAN NOT do math heavily sedated.
6.      Do not insist to a friend you have a “gross but funny” story to tell them.  You will realize later it was very much gross, and nowhere near funny.
7.      Telling time is next to impossible, so instead of trying to be smart, just ask someone what time it is.
8.      Understand that you may not feel the pain now, but you will when the I.V. meds wear off, don’t be a hero, take the prescribed dose.
9.      It might not be best to tell those checking up on you how you really feel in descriptors.  Use expressions like “rough” “extremely sore” or “a lot of pain but hanging in there” and stay away from dog excrement analogies.
10.   Did I mention you probably shouldn’t blog?

Life lessons are always good to have around.  Hope you learned from mine, class dismissed.